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As I drive along that old stretch of road that I've traveled down on so
many a trip, I can't help but think about the one man that had stood
there, greeting motorists, for so many years. They called him
"Mooning Mikey". In an era where people seldom take the
time to greet one another with a simple hello, Mikey was the one man
that had the courage to rise above the common individual. Sure his
style of greeting oncoming traffic was a little unconventional, but it
certainly was original and it was his trademark. I was first greeted by Mikey one day in the summer of 1965. I was driving on my way to visit a dying friend in the hospital. I was obviously in poor spirits but I happened to look over to the left and saw something that cheered me up. I saw Mikey moon me as I passed by. I looked in my rearview mirror to see if what I had thought I had just seen was real. And yes, it was really a grown man's rear I was viewing in my rearview mirror. Since that day, I was greeted with a moon every time I passed by. I as well as countless other motorists. He soon became known as "Mooning Mikey." Rumor had it that the reason behind Mikey's greeting was deeply rooted in a personal tragedy he had suffered not long before this particular tradition had been started. Legend had it that Mikey's son had his buttocks shot off in the war. Medics didn't reach him in time and he eventually bled to death. Mikey's mooning was actually a tribute to his fallen son. That's why local law enforcement officials never yielded to the complaints of some motorists, because they simply couldn't bring themselves to arrest him. Often, motorists would either wave to Mikey or beep their horns while passing by. Some would even go so far as to stick their bare buttocks out of the window to return the greeting in the same manner in which it was rendered to them. Sure, this caused a few accidents and occasional highway fatalities but no harm was originally intended. Just friendly people greeting one another in their own special way. Then, on one dark day, the mooning stopped. It seemed that Mikey had a heart condition. While standing on his chair and mooning an oncoming car, he went into cardiac arrest. With one hand on his chest and the other attempting to pull his pants back up, he fell off of the chair and landed face first onto the hood of an oncoming car. When the car stopped, he was thrown onto the road, into the opposite lane, where he was run over by a Charmin delivery truck. So now, as I drive down that road from time to time, I think about old Mikey and his bare buttocks greeting oncoming traffic. I can still see his butt hairs swaying in the breeze and then a tear comes to my eye. But I know that Mikey's in a better place now. So my tears turn to a smile as I remember the happiness he so selflessly brought into the lives of others. He will be sorely missed. Goodbye old friend. |
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