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Dear
Scabby,
I am a thirty-two year old man with severe halitosis and body
odor. I emit an awful stench. People gag when I walk their way.
Milk turns sour before I get a chance to drink it. I have no
ideas as to what I can do to resolve this dilemma. Do you?
O. Fensive in Oklahoma
Dear Mr. Fensive,
For starters, you might try bathing or brushing your teeth. A
little soap and some toothpaste would be a nice touch too.
Didn’t your parents teach you anything about hygiene?
Were you born in a barn or something?
Dear Scabby,
I was born in a small
barn in Arkansas and raised amongst slop-hogs.
I was never really taught much in the area of etiquette. Do the
forks go on the right side or the left? I hope you don’t think
this is a stupid question.
O. Fensive in Oklahoma
Dear Mr. Fensive,
Considering you were raised amongst slop-hogs, it would
probably be safe to assume that you’re lacking in the area of
table manners, overall. It’s good to know that you do use a fork
and I hope you use a plate when you eat as well. But I believe
you are probably such an incredible slob that you are completely
unable to grasp the basic concepts of etiquette. I’m amazed that
you are even a literate person. But thanks for the letter and
have a nice day.
Dear Scabby,
I am at the
helm of a large corporation.
I am grossly incompetent.
I am in fear of being discovered as being the bumbling
buffoon that I really am.
Even though I’ve been getting away with this for years
and I hand pick the incompetent managers below me, I am
concerned that I will be found out.
What do I do?
Bumbling in Bummerville
Well
Bumbling,
The only way to continue to get away with what you are
doing is to suppress those with the most amount of talent, the
most creative, the most ambitious and the hardest working people
within your organization. Then promote only those who agree with your own asinine
policies. Since you
have gotten away with your incompetence for so long, I’ll
assume that you have already been doing so.
Just keep up the good work and you should be able run the
company (into the ground) for years to come.
Here is the perfect business model for you to follow:
CLICK HERE |
